~ today ~

Oof.

I hate falling; it’s hard to get up. I climb up slowly, disoriented. I shake myself out, trying to figure out what happened. And then I look up.

I watch as you walk away, oblivious that I am only metres behind you. I sit waiting, waiting for you to realize that you’ve forgotten me. I stare at the back of your vanishing head, wanting to somehow to tell you that I'm here, but unable to say anything.

I drag myself after you, ten steps too slow, then twenty, thirty... I pause, tired, already covered in the dust you always miss when vacuuming. I watch you calmly fold what you call laundry, but what I call friends. I watch you fold your jeans – those itchy, scratchy things that always try to make a point by swatting me in the face. I watch you go through everyone, putting them neatly in a pile. Desperately, I watch you pair up the socks, one by one. The black ones, the white ones you wear to the gym, the pink ones with little bunnies that you wear at home secretly. Then you pick up the light blue sock with the two white stripes at the top. You search around you for the other sock. I stare hard at you, wanting you to look over. But of course, I might as well have been lying on an iceberg in the Arctic Circle with my eyes closed, because you don’t notice me. You search frantically around for the other missing sock – of course you don’t want to lose your favourite pair. We’ve been together too long. I try to move closer to you, but your carpet makes it hard to move. You should’ve gotten hardwood flooring.

For a moment, as you turn to look behind your sofa, I see my friend – my half – over there with you, scrunched up in your hand. He’s staring at me, face desperate. Then you decide that I cannot be hiding behind your sofa, and turn back, blocking my sight of my best friend. You stand for a moment, sighing, looking around the whole room, wondering where the other sock – me – is.

A pause, then…no, that can’t be good. I’ve been with you too long. I know that expression. I know. No! Don’t turn around! No! I’m here! Don’t give up on me! Put everyone else down! I’m over here! Don’t leave me in this darkened corner forever!
I blink unbelievingly as you turn the corner with your stack of so-called laundry, my best friend sitting alone on top. I slump in the corner with the dust bunnies that are now laughing torturously at me for being such a pathetic fool. I swat at them, but they only make me cough, which makes them laugh at me more. Miserably, I close my eyes, and wish that I was anywhere but here.


~ six months later ~

I don’t know how long it has been since I’ve been here. Each day blends into the next. Even the dust bunnies have tired of teasing me. They’re playing with some kind of Post-It note that you dropped a while back. I don’t care though. I don’t know what my existence is amounting to right now.

It’s even worse when I see you walk by without seeing me. I’ve seen you do your laundry a thousand more times, walking by this corner each time, but you never look down. Maybe you wouldn’t be able to see me with the huge basket in your arms anyways.

Today is another one of these days. Like that fateful day, I watch you fold your laundry (I can’t believe you still have that awful pair of jeans) and turn the corner into your room again. I begin to sink back down to the ground when you come into view again. I look up tiredly. My eyes widen. Could it be?

Yes! Yes! You have my best friend in your left hand! You go into the kitchen, where I still have a fairly good view of the scene. You pause, and spread the light blue sock out on your palm. Unlike me now, he’s still bright and clean, the white strips still white. I look down despicably at myself for a moment; my blurred gray stripes and dull blues are so boring, maybe if you had found me, you would have just thrown me out anyways.

I watch you look at the sock with glassy eyes, as if you were in a reverie. Then, you abruptly break out of your reverie and approach the garbage can. …The garbage what?! I scramble up to get a better look, scared to see what was going to happen but nevertheless too curious to control myself. As if in slow motion, I watch you lift the clean, pristine blue sock and let him fall into the abysmal void of all things that are deemed worthless. Falling, gravity pulling, dragging him down to his horrid fate. No! I scream in my mind. Powerlessly, he plunges into the void. You walk away. I sink down. I thought the worst had come when you had abandoned me, but to dispose of my best friend – your best friend – and to think naught of it a moment afterwards! I have no words to describe my…my…outrage!


~ two years later ~

Moving. You’re moving. The dust bunnies tell me that you’ve got a new job in some other city. Well, congratulations, you. I’m sure I’ll do fine here with whoever moves in after you. After all, the dust bunnies and I have agreed on a sort of peace treaty. They don’t hurt me anymore, and they’re actually good at bringing news.

Sunlight streams in from the windows, finally free from your white opaque blinds. The corner I now call home is finally brightly illuminated. For a moment I forget everything and bask in this wondrous moment of light. It feels like heaven, to feel real warmth and light drifting over me after all this time in the dark.

A shadow falls over me. I look up. It’s you. And you’re staring at me. Looking amused, regretful, and confused all at the same time, you bend down and pick me up.

“Oh, if only you showed up two years ago…” you mumble softly.

If I showed up two years ago? I was always here! You were the one that should’ve shown up two years ago. Not me – you.

But caressed in your hand again after such a long time, it’s hard to stay angry at you. It’s been so long… I decide to just make myself comfortable for a while. I close my eyes and right at that moment, you pinch me with two fingers, pull me away from you so that I dangle from your fingers and




fall.






Oof. My final days with banana peels and chocolate wrappers. And here I thought you actually loved me.